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Captain Jack Raptor's Internal Monologue while falling
/ Begin recording \ You know, it never occurred to me that I would be in this particular situation, falling to my death while scrabbling for purchase on a wildly spinning helicopter. It's my own damn fault, of course. I thought opening the rear cargo hatch was particularly clever. I also thought that stopping the counter-rotating tail rotor was also quite clever, causing enough force to expel the contents within, which at the moment is a group of mercenary guards and a cage which I know, under good authority, contains a dragon. Or a dragon-like paranormal critter. Or something like that. It's scaly and it has wings. The folks at the auction seemed to think it was important and sacred or something. What wasn't so clever was the fact that I was not, in any way, secured to said helicopter. There are basic laws of physics, even with magic and technomancy gumming up the works, and one of them is centripetal force. Or is it centrifugal force? It's SOME force, at any rate, that flung me rather quickly off of the helicopter and now crashing to what appears to be my impending death. If only I had a length of rope. Ah well, hindsight is twenty-twenty, as they say. I spend all of my bloody time on the water and occasionally on land. I never thought I'd be maneuvering through the air like a kite, or in my current predicament, like a rock. I really should look into one of those jazzy backpack hang gliders that I've seen on the trids, the ones that the Elves use all the time. A more practical solution would be built into my cyberarms, perhaps a magnetic system, or more strength, or retractable climbing claws. Nah... not my style. Hey, I could get one of those neat grappling guns built into my arm. It would add a bit of bulk to my forearms, but it's not like my cyberarms aren't completely obvious anyway. I'll just wear bigger gauntlets with my Captain Jack outfit. I'll look like a cyber-Popeye. Perhaps I should balance the grapple gun with some other device in the other arm. It just wouldn't do to look lopsided. I mean, assuming I don't die and all that. Note to self: time really slows down when recording my thoughts on my commlink, especially when I'm about to die. I should look into calculating the exact time dilation at some point. The Watcher tells me that this is normal, and for some reason, I believe her. After all, a similar situation happened when I got into this whole Jack Raptor mess after that one crappy run I had in Hong Kong. But I digress. The ground seems to be getting closer. Oh happy end. And speaking of Hong Kong, with my last dying breath I CURSE YOU TORGO! Wait, what's that shape zooming toward... HOLY SHIT THAT'S A DRAGON SWOOPING DOWN AT M... \ End recording /